


Junkie Church

by mrbrownstone



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, Sad, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-20 04:26:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13139040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrbrownstone/pseuds/mrbrownstone
Summary: merry christmas showhyung stansa songfic to junkie church by ajj





	Junkie Church

 

 

 

 _last week i saw you at the junkie church_  
_you told me all the things i need to hear_  
_like i've got a heart of gold and a kind and open soul_

Seeing him there made Hyungwon feel a bit awkward at first, but the words exchanged made the meeting a bit more bearable. There's something about his tone that makes him smile, something about his choice in words.

_so we went and bought ourselves a can of beer_

They left together, the younger of the two climbing into Hyunwoo's car. A part of him feels a bit disappointed in himself for being an adult without a car. Hyungwon rested his head back against the seat and the man driving suggested a drink.

_steel reserve_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 _i was manic at the clinic_  
_i was feeling like my body disappeared_

Hyungwon always hated check-ups, hated being around constant cold white. It didn't help when he was jittery, shaking from the nasty running through his veins. His eyes darted about, nerves under his skin vibrating until numb.

 _my tongue rolling around in the void inside my mouth_  
_it was infinite and brown and kind of weird_

His eyes shut and he can feel his tongue. His focus hones in on it and his body goes limp. He can feel it squirming, shifting uncomfortable in the prison of his teeth.

_infinite_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 _and the waiting room was pissing in my ear_  
_the waiting room was pissing in my ear_

His concern eats at him like the paranoia, so worried that Hyunwoo won't make it out with the prescription. He's glancing to the door and the hissing of the air conditioning gets louder and louder. Tears are brimming in his eyes, but they stop when Hyunwoo steps out with a little paper bag.  
He suggests a break from the stress.

_so we went and bought ourselves a can of beer_

He suggests a drink.

_steel reserve_

 

 

 

 

 

 _oh, i love you cause i love you cause i can_  
_i love you cause i love you cause i can_

Hyungwon is soft for the older, wants to be held by him and be loved by him. They both know, but they won't say anything. Two broken pieces don't always fit together.

 _last time i tried to go to sleep_  
_my head expanded in an air balloon of words a thousand conversations with your disembodied voice_  
_in a cacophony of adjectives and verbs_

His eyes fall shut as he tries to stop the anxiety from swallowing him whole. All he can imagine is conversations that never happened, that could happen, that he wants. Everything floats around in his head.

_air balloon_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 _on your last night at saint mary's_  
_you were way too intoxicated to breathe_

It was terrifying, so fucking terrifying to see Hyunwoo this way, choking on his own breaths. He had drowned himself in liquor. Hyungwon almost didn't know how to respond.

 _so i used your ribs as ladders and i climbed up on your chest_  
_and i jumped up and down just like a trampoline_

He's trying his best to keep him alive, to keep him breathing. His hands fold over each other on other's chest, pumping and pumping. He's sobbing over the near blue-faced Hyunwoo.

_trampoline_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 _and the ambulance was mean as it could be_  
_it melted both my tennies to the street_

The emergency services rush over when the younger can't do it all himself, rushing up to the house. The tires ran over the pair of shoes Hyungwon had left at the edge of the driveway.

_that night, i stole a candy bar from circle k_

As they move Hyunwoo's body, hooking him up to air machines, the younger shoves his shaky hands into his pockets. His fingers brush something plastic and he pulls it out. It was the candy he had stolen before he went to the Hyunwoo's.

_milky way_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 _oh, i love you cause i love you cause i can_  
_i love you cause i love you cause i can_

Hyungwon confesses in the hospital that night. He let's the sleeping man know everything, tells him about every thought and feeling he ever had about Hyunwoo.

 

 

 

 

 

 

_oh, i love you cause i love you cause i can i love you cause i love you cause i can_

The next morning, Hyungwon wakes from his spot in the shitty guest chair by the hospital bed. He glances at the still-sleeping man with tired eyes. His heart jumps into his throat.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 _oh, i love you cause i love you cause i can_  
_i love you cause i love you cause i can_

Hyunwoo never wakes up. He never opens his eyes again, never confronts Hyungwon's about his confession. He passes away, fingers entwined with Hyungwon's as he sobbed around a Milky Way.

 

 

 


End file.
